


bASSanio

by MxGryffindorOtaku, RajWrites



Series: Tales from English Room 13 [1]
Category: Merchant of Venice - Shakespeare
Genre: Fluff, M/M, but I also kinda hate her, can you say FLUFF, love y'all!, portia is a genius and I love her, possibly crack, psa we need mental help, rated teen for Ms GO's dirty mouth, save us from the black pit that is our lives, we didn't beta this so if you see any mistakes tell us!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8916382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxGryffindorOtaku/pseuds/MxGryffindorOtaku, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RajWrites/pseuds/RajWrites
Summary: random things because english class sucks and we have problems *bows*
Antonio and Bassanio are obviously in love and Portia really needs them to FUCKING KISS ALREADY





	

**Author's Note:**

> Bonjour~ from Ms. G.O!  
> \\_(ツ)_/¯ from Morg!  
> PSA: we have issues and I wanted to keep our thought process stuff so that's what's with the text at the top. Scroll past it if you'd like, read it if you're weird, blow up you're computer if you're crazy (jk pls don't)
> 
> Anyhow! Enjoy, s'il vous plaît!

MsGO: This one’s fun! Yeah! Perfect! Now what are we even writing about?

Morg: Umm, well, presumably we’re writing for that time period and not being lazy and making modern thingamabobs?

MsGO: Do we have to do iambic pentameter? Because I CANNOT

Morg: Oh hell no IAMBIC PENTAMETER IS FORBIDDEN IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL 

MsGO: Okay good. (let’s keep this text. It’s entertaining) Plot: Portia catches them doing something gay? Portia realizes how gay they are and lets bASSy marry Toni?

Morg: Sounds like MoV except for the marriage part lol. 

MsGO: Truth.Okay maybe…. Um…. how ‘bout ummmmm……  Ummmm… 

Morg: what if everyone secretly ships it 

MsGO: FUCK YES 

Morg: WATCH YOUR PROFANITY 

MsGO: oops I meant FRICK YES

Morg: lol so ummm let’s do some writing sentences I really did mean shenaenaes

MsGo: Let’s. WAIT! Are we writing it like a script or a story? 

Morg: Probably story, 1st person or 3rd person?

MsGo: I’m better at 3rd, but it’s up to you.

Morg: I’m better at first so maybe both? For some strange reason, I also seem to be better at 1st-person portraying male characters

MsGO: Fair enough. First it is. I’ll start? 

Morg: Knock yoself out

MsGO: Oh goody.

PSA: Ms G.O. can’t spell for shit!

PSA: M. the Raverin is a spelling whiz but totally sucks at grammar

PSA: We both have issues! This cannot be an announcement because it’s obvious. I was just making it official, ya know? Like a… I don’t know what! Nevermind!

 

Actual story stuffs:

I’m really starting to think that Bassanio is kind of an idiot. Like a really big idiot. A HUGE idiot. Somehow I didn’t realize this  _ before _ I married the guy, but I digress. He is so totally not in love with me and it would be rather laughable if it didn’t put me in such an awkward position.

My predicament spelled out in plain english (or Italian, because we are in Italy)? I ship it. Like really hard. He makes these goo-goo-eyes at Antonio all day, every day, non-stop. Like  _ NON-STOP.  _ And how Toni doesn’t even notice is completely beyond me because he’s doing the same thing right back! I don’t know how either of them stands it! ANd every time they bump into each other or anything, they all start blushing and shit.

Everybody else has noticed. And they think it’s hilarious. For some reason. I suppose I can see why, they’re like lovesick schoolboys. But I simply cannot bring myself to laugh. Partly because of the previously mentioned position this situation puts me and partly because I really want them to get together. 

 

(you wanna go? Ok game on which one am I? who ever you want, toni maybe? I think I could write bASSy more easily. Go for it kiddo!)

 

All this business has seriously weirded me out, but for some reason I can’t comprehend, my wife keeps looking at me really suspiciously and I don’t know why. I keep asking people, but they all either burst out laughing or spontaneously have coughing fits or something. Like, people, I’m legitimately asking questions here? Hello?

Well screw them.  ~~At least Toni understands how I feel~~. I said nothing. Nothing just happened. Nothing at all. I mean weird stuff in general has been happening around lately. Like I’ve been close friends with Antonio for many years, but recently I’ve just gotten really flustered when I try to talk to him or about him or –. Yeah. And it’s not like Portia calling me an idiot all the time really helps, especially since...the ring incident.

Some really embarrassing things have happened during my life. Getting to Antonio’s place really late (and really drunk) and spouting some really weird stuff before collapsing on the bed, my fail at a diary a few years ago, even trying to propose to a portrait (please don’t judge). But that might just outstrip them all. Now I’d like to believe that I’m clever and observant and all that, and yet my wife pretended to be a LAWYER in order to save my friend, managed to connive her way into my handing over a ring she’d given me, and then rubbed it in my face for weeks. It was humiliating.

 

(your go? Hell to the yass, I’m going Toni, ‘kay?)

 

Wow. Wow. He has such pretty eyes. How Have I never noticed how absolutely beautiful his eyes are? Although, somehow, I feel like I have noticed in the past… So pretty… What was I thinking about again? Oh, right! I’m supposed to be counting money.  _ BORING _ . Bassanio’s eyes are so much more fun. Oh, wait he’s turning around… Oh heavens his butt is gorgeous. MONEY! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE COUNTING  _ MONEY _ ! Not the number of seconds until Bassanio bends down to pick up that quill he just dropped. 3.. 2.. 1… OHMYSWEETLORD.

What is he even doing over there anyways? I’m willing to bet this is the first time in his adult life that he’s even been in a library. I’d bet  _ two _ pounds of my flesh. And blood! That’s how sure I am about this.

“Bassanio, what in heaven’s name are you doing in the library?”

“Umm, well, I was going to give that diary idea another shot. And I sort of thought that the library would be quiet? And– I’m not bothering you, am I?!”

_ Yes _ . “No, not at all,” I clear my throat and scoot over a bit. “You could sit with me if you’d like…”

His face turns a lovely shade of pink. “Well, if you don’t mind… I suppose…”

As he makes his way over, I decide that this was a terrible idea. I’ll never get any work done now! The blush on his face is walking the line between a pink oriental poppy and a full-on tomato. I look back down at work and try to focus. 

I stare at my papers for a full five minutes without any of the words registering in my brain. What does this mean again? I risk a peek over at Bassanio's paper and find that it’s blank as well.

“Umm, Antonio, have you moved at all? Because you seem...closer. That’s all. I mean it’s not like it’s really bothering me or anything but…” He hides his face behind the page and pretends to keep writing.

I spring backwards and try not to blush. But it’s there anyways probably. “S-Sorry!” I rack my brain, trying to think of something to say to make this less awkward. “So, um, what have you written?”

“N-not much, really. Definitely nothing… important. Umm, just what I had for dinner.” 

“Bassanio, we’ve only just had breakfast…”

“Oh, r-really?! I hadn’t noticed.” He started laughing nervously, and ripping the corner of his paper to shreds.

I impulsively grab his hands to stop him from tearing the page and he immediately lets go. “Could I read it? I mean, we’re friends and all… I won’t tell anyone what you’ve written.”

He yelps and tries to snatch it back, but I hold on tighter. “P-please don’t, I don’t know what you’ll think, you’ll think I’m awful and stupid and–” He just falls off the bench and starts sobbing in a heap on the floor.

I kneel down next to him and run my hands through his hair. “I’d never think you to be awful, Bassanio. I-” The door slams open and books quite literally fall off their shelves.

 

(I think it’s time for Portia to have a little say, what do you think? Sounds good to me. Yay for cliche cliffhangers!)

 

I happened to know that Antonio was in the library when Bassanio went in. And, you should probably know that I’m the one who told Bassanio to start keeping a diary. I don’t really care if he actually keeps it for long, it only matters for today. I was at the door eavesdropping on their conversation when Antonio offered the seat next to him to my husband. I was a little disappointed when I didn’t hear anything for a while after that. Not even a whisper. But then I realized that they could be kissing right then, but I wouldn’t have been able to  _ hear  _ them. And then I realized how far fetched the idea was.

And then I heard a yelp, a thump, and sobbing and now I’m slamming the door open, because if one of them hurt the other I will be absolutely livid. Bassanio is half-lying on the floor, leaning up against the bookcase. Antonio is knelt over my husband with his hands in Bassanio’s hair. THey’re both staring at me and they look absolutely terrified.

_ SHIT! _ I just ruined a really good moment, didn’t I? They were about to confess their (painfully obvious) feelings to each other and kiss and ride of into the sunset AND I RUINED IT!

“P-Portia!” Antonio sputters. “He just fell is all, and I was about to help him up, and he said he hit his head is all, so I was checking for a lump, and I swear this isn’t what you think.”

“Oh?” I ask calmly. “What is it then? Because I could have sworn you were about to tell him something. Could you please tell him? Because he really needs to hear it.”

“I-I really don’t think-”

“I promise he’ll say the same thing,” I wink at him and walk out of the room.

 

(You’re up kiddo, bring on the bASSy confusion!)

 

_ What. The. Hell.  _ Was she eavesdropping? But she’s the one who (forcefully) recommended that I start a diary again. The incriminating page is lying on the floor, so close to the fireplace. It could be gone in a matter of seconds. I guess I didn’t know what I was doing when I got married, but can you blame me for not wanting to be in debt? If only… If only I could’ve done all that and stayed with him. I look up at him, eyes widening.

“Antonio? DO you know what she was talking about?”

“I…” He looks at the space Portia had just been occupying, then back at me. “I… I do…”

I’m starting to get frustrated with all the secret whispers and titters spreading around. “Well? What is it?”

His gaze drops to my lips for a split second, but then he’s back at my eyes. “I… don’t know if I can…” His eyes drop again, and this time his gaze lingers on my lips. I lick them nervously. “Bassanio… I…”

“Just tell me,” I whisper. “Please, I’ve always trusted you, just tell-”

Holy crap he’s kissing me.  _ HOLY CRAP! _ Oh, wow his lips are so soft and warm. I let my eyes slip shut and bring my arms around his neck. This is… It’s… I don’t know what… There’s a warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach and it intensifies when Antonio twists my hair to angle my head so my mouth fits better against his. I try to pull him closer, but my tug at his neck only serves to make him fall into my lap. I don’t know if it’s registered yet, what this means. I don’t know if it even matters. I’ve forgotten how to breathe.

He pulls back. “I love you, Bassanio. That’s what she wanted me to tell you.”

My breath catches in my throat. “Somehow, I think I’ve always known.”

 

CURTAIN!

Another number, please?

**Author's Note:**

> Well that was fun! (that bit at the end was a reference to something and if you can guess what, I'll give you a digital cookie, but I doubt you'll be able to guess it) Anyways, we'll see y'all next time!  
> Elephants of love,  
> Ms. G.O.  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯,  
> Morg


End file.
